new york, new york ...

i'm sitting in my hotel room that overlooks times square. literally, the lights are blinking and flashing, and you'd never know it was night time in new york city. it really is the city that never sleeps. fortunately, i do. i'm here at a conference for work. my colleague and i had a booth here, so we were behind that, inside a windowless room for most of the week. tonight they had a 'party in times square' dance for the conference - and while we went to show our spirit, it was a bit like being at a wedding of someone you know well enough to have a drink with but not well enough to misbehave. so needlesstosay, i've not scoped out the after party.

which is fine because i found one by accident on tuesday night when we met ja rule's producer/friend who took us back to his studio to show us around. apparently it's where he and j-lo recorded their song together, and it had all sorts of recording studios, mixing decks, sound-proofed rooms, and couch after couch for the tag-a-long'ers who - from what i could see - just sat around drinking, smoking and watching videos. we didn't stay too long (frankly, i don't think we were cool enough) - but it was nice of him to give us a tour.

my sister really would have loved it. shame she left that day.

but we definitely had a great weekend together with my dad when they were both in boston last week. lots of great food, drink (of course), red sox game, day at the beach, long walks through boston, fred eaglesmith show by chance, shoe shopping (dad LOVED that) and just hanging out. it was nice to show them the little place we've got here, and our part of the city.

but from tomorrow, june 1, i am going to detox. it helps that i leave on a retreat just after i get back from new york. 'finding life's hidden direction' is the theme, which is perfect for me. it's right on the beach near cape cod. so until next week ... happy weekend to all.

pain in the tooth

i had an appointment for two fillings this morning. bad enough in and of itself, until she found out that the decay in tooth number 3 is at the nerve. so guess what folks, i need a root canal. not to mention that i already have an appointment for a root canal retreat in june. no, that's not retreat as in mediatation in the mountains, that's re-treat, as in re-doing an old root canal. yuck yuck yuck. PLUS another crown. PLUS the other fillings. so all in all, what started as a trip for a cleaning is going to wipe me out of nearly 3k and that's AFTER insurance. urgh urgh urgh. i suppose my mouth is worth it. but it seems a bit of a scam to me. i bet they're all in this together. a ploy for the dental industry to make a lot of money. grrrrrrrr.

well, enough about that.

in other news it's a beautiful day and i'm working from home with the back door open and the breeze blowing in. lovely.

can someone turn on the AC?

i just got back from a yoga class. i haven't been to yoga in years. and i've NEVER been to a hot yoga class. i can't remember what it's called, though the place is called baptiste. but they've got the heat on full blast the whole time. so i was literally dripping with sweat for an hour and half. thankfully i remembered most of the poses. and most of the time, i was really into it. there were a few moments when the heat pissed me off and i wished that it was cooler. but in those times, i tried to calm my mind and focus on the breathing.

what did i discover?

* it's about the breath and the gaze. i never thought much about the gaze.
* i never knew your thighs were supposed to come off the ground in up dog. (or is it down dog, i forget)
* the woman next to me must've been having a really stressful day. she was really letting it out.
* it's a strange sensation to have sweat drip INTO your nose from an upside down position.
* i am lucky to be alive and with the ability to have so many sensations.

i had this thought while i was in the final stretching positions (i know you're not supposed to think but i'm not very practiced yet). and the thought was that i am exactly where i am supposed to be. and the things i'm going through now, the frustrations and the inspirations, are exactly the things i am supposed to be going through because one day they'll help me to understand a bit more. in the same way that living in london and being such a part of a big group of friends has helped me to understand how wonderful it is to feel welcome. and now being in boston with only a handful of friends has made me sensitive to how it must feel to be on the outside and without that group. so i had this thought that whatever i end up doing, i hope it has something to do with making people feel welcome, and included, and safe, and comfortable with themselves. so that was a nice thought to end the yoga class with.

and now i'm showered and clean and calm.

and i wish i could tell you that i was going to sit and meditate, or write in my journal, or pick up the guitar. but i'm sorry to say it's the finale of the bachelor, so i'm going to watch and see who he chooses. pathetic i know. but small steps. i'm taking small steps.

namaste.

life is not a rubik's cube

alex bought a rubik's cube and it's been sitting in our living room for months. every night he picks it up and turns the corners, mixing the sides. usually he gets one side, sometimes almost all of a second. the other night, he said to me, 'one of these days i'm going to sit down and really figure out the trick to this and stop hoping that it's going to magically come together, because there is a science behind this.' (ok, i'm paraphrasing a bit, but it was something like that). i thought that was really interesting, and was trying to think of that as a metaphor for life. like maybe if we just sat down to think about things, we could figure it out, put two and two together and make that equal four, like science. i really wanted the metaphor to work and sat for probably 20 minutes trying to think of a way to force it. but i just couldn't. because life is not a rubik's cube. it can't be forced. it would be nice if everything lined up neatly and nicely, like a rubik's cube in the package at the toy store. but once you take out and mix it up for the first time, you're basically a jumbled rainbow of colors. but maybe that's better.

let things line up every once in a while, get one side sorted, maybe even part of the second, and then mix it all up and start again. maybe that's the fun of the cube. wouldn't it be boring if you could solve it every time?

another gorgeous day!

thankfully, it looks like summer may be here to stay. it was another gorgeous weekend in boston. on friday night, we went to see a friend of his who was in town with his new little boy. (EVERYONE is having babies!) he was a cute little babs (as my sister would say) and it was fun to meet some of the people that alex went to highschool with. on saturday, he and i rode out to the deCordova sculpture park in lincoln, ma. it's about 18 miles or so outside of boston. we left the house at 10:45 and got to lincoln around 1:15 or so, got a sandwich at the whistlestop cafe and then went out to the sculpture park for a wander through the gardens. we were exhausted by the end of the wander and just lay on the grass soaking up the sun. not looking forward to the 2 1/2 hour bike ride home. but we told ourselves we'd stop at baskin robbins half way home. (sadly for me they were out of mint chip).

on the way back, i got a message from anna saying that isla and chris had had a baby girl, eliza. congrats to them!

i fell asleep at 7pm on saturday i was so exhausted, and couldn't motivate to get out to a party like we'd planned. the couch was just too comfortable and my legs were numb. and yesterday was another lovely day, so we packed a picnic and read the sunday papers. nothing eventful - but relaxing.

all in all, a restful weekend.

bring on the summer!

it's a beautiful summer day here in boston ... early summer. the first day i've worn a skirt to work, hooray! hopefully the first of many, though my cartoon weather predictor shows rain tomorrow and friday. hopefully the warm sticky rain. i'm done with the cold. sorry i've been a little slow on the blog front. getting back to boston after the UK trip took it out of me.

i've been to the doctor and the dentist since i've been back for routine check ups ... and as they do, they found things that i'll need to fix. yuck. two fillings next week (plus re-treating my old root canal, urgh!), and my blood test results came back yesterday and said i had mildly low blood sugar. not really sure what that means except they said to make sure i eat three meals a day at regular intervals. clearly they don't know me well if they have to tell me to EAT! i think i would have been happy if they'd said FIVE meals a day! :) in any case, that's probably enough gory details from my check ups. (perhaps unnecessary!)

i've been working from home a lot since i've been back which is great. i tend to get up earlier (7ish) and start working by 7:30-8ish, and it's easier to get my head down and get stuck right into work. and then i don't feel guilty when i finish around 4ish for a nice afternoon. my office at home is right next to the back stairwell, so i can open the door and pretend i have a garden and let the breeze in. such a nice atmosphere to work in, even if it is a bit unsocial.

in other news, my dad and sister will be coming for the last weekend in may and i can't wait to see them. we're already planning lots of fun things to do - both in and out of boston. should be a fun weekend!

i am actually in the office today, so must put my head down and start working!
love to all.

london / wedding pics

want to get these up while i can! in no particular order - enjoy!