apologies apologies!

it's been so long since i've updated this site, you're probably bored of checking back and have forgotten about it altogether! i've been in california since last tuesday (12th) and it's so hard to stick to my routine when i travel. that goes for my food and alcohol consumption, aerobic exercise AND blogging. needlesstosay, i've done a TON of eating and drinking and very little exercising or blogging. surprised?

i didn't think so!

i was in san diego last week for some leadership development training. what did i learn? so much! it was a great 2 1/2 days, where i had the opportunity to hear feedback from my colleagues at EUSA who had done a 360 review on my skills and ability to deal with conflict. i also got the results of my own tests (myers-briggs and FIRO-B). very interesting. of interest:

* i have a strong need for structure and control
* i have a strong need for affection and inclusion
* my myers briggs, if anyone knows or cares, was ESFJ - but only slightly on most things except for feeling where i was strong.
* putting all those things together was like reading a horoscope - suddenly, things i've been doing, my reasoning behind behaviors and decisions i've made (or not made) make sense! i had some great revelations that week.
* it was also interesting to see that on some things, my colleagues rate me higher than i rate myself. (on some they rate me lower - also a surprise!)

we also learned an excellent technique for dealing with conflict. not rocket-science, but a technique called SBI - situation, behavior, impact. so for example, instead of saying 'you were a real jerk in that meeting yesterday, you might say 'yesterday morning when we were meeting with the team (situation) and you interrupted me five times (behavior), i was really frustrated (impact). you get the point.

the biggest thing that did for me was reframe the concept of conflict. where conflict, then, doesn't become a negative thing in and of itself, or something to fear or avoid (as i do). the idea of telling someone they've really 'messed up' or done a bad job or ruined something is scary to me. but reframing it as an expression of impact on their *behavior* and not their *person* is much easier!

and probably pretty easy to try in my personal life as well as professional!

phew - that was only 2 1/2 days.

the rest of the days in CA have been full of food and drink and family and fun! notably:

* dad's BBQ (surf and turf tacos!)
* margaritas margaritas margaritas
* sunshine and (ouch) sunburns
* father's day!!
* lovely massage from auntie lynne
* walks by the beach with an old friend
* boccie ball and red wine
(who knew it was such a good combination?)
* eyebrow waxings and manicures with my sister and her friends
* kickboxing in malika's class at 8am, and drinking margaritas with her by 8pm!

even though it doesn't sound like i'd have time for it, i also worked the whole time! i swear! conference calls at 6am and lots of emails. i'm planning our big conference in madrid next month, so lots of work to be done!

anyhow, i'm now in berkeley with devon and have to get to a session he is giving to our first group of students in the bay area. he's done an excellent job (which means i did an excellent job in hiring him!) hooray for us both!

it's a beautiful sunny day here, perfect weather. hope it's nice where you are!